Bros, Meet Kirby Jenner: Kendall Jenner’s Identical Twin–But He’s A Grown Ass Man. With A Mustache. And A Dad Bod.

Did you bros know that Kendall Jenner has basically kinda an identical twin named Kirby Jenner? Kirby decided at a young age that the spotlight of being Jenner was just too bright for his fragile disposition so he sought after a career at Blockbuster Video. Blockbuster stopped sending him checks after they went under, but Kirby keeps showing up to work in his extra starched blue uniform under the impression that its just been a “slow period.” The store closed in 2011.

Kirby seldom contacts his uber-famous family, but when he does he calls Collect. He refuses to accept any of the money they send him on Christmas and birthdays and chooses to live out of his 1991 Toyota Corolla he proudly named “Bert.” TMZ caught up with the grown man in between games of laser tag he was playing with a couple of his cosplay friends. When asked to assign himself a superlative within the Jenner family, he quickly responded, “the pretty one,” before wiping his mustache clean of funfetti cake. TMZ also asked him if he’s ever had sexual intercourse, to which he replied, “with a person?” and the reporter smartly refused to dig deeper.

This just in: I’ve been given false information. Kirby Jenner is actually just a random ass dude with a killer mustache and a doughy bod whose Instagram account is #onfleek.

But he does love funfetti cake.

[h/t Barstool]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.