Talk about a string of unfortunate events. It was just another day of cutting trees on his property for Australian Timothy Withrow. Then, some bad things started happening:
1. He cut his hand when his chainsaw slipped.
2. He called for ambulance but was told that the closest one was 10 hours away (Australia is big like that).
3. So, with giant balls of titanium, he poured some gin on his wound, took some fishing line, and stitched himself up, like a fucking mother fucker.
4. Then, he drank some gin, which I think we can all agree he deserved.
5. Being a responsible adult, he still wanted a doctor to check out his wound, so he called his wife to take him to the hospital. She couldn’t be reached.
6. Instead, he got in his car and drove to the hospital.
7. But, he was pulled over on the way and charged with a DUI.
8. And today, a judge refused to dismiss the matter, saying he didn’t do all in his power to stay off the road. From the BBC:
Justice Kevin Nicholson agreed with the earlier ruling that Withrow had had options other than driving himself, including calling an ambulance or taxi, or approaching a neighbour for help.
“He posed a clear danger not only to himself but to other road users,” Justice Nicholson said, according to local media.
“I admire [his] courage and his tolerance to pain but I do not admire his judgment.”
Talk about a series of unfortunate events.
Oh, also, his BAC was three times the legal limit. That’s pretty drunk. Maybe that’s why the chainsaw slipped and he was able to stitch himself up? Because he was hammered?
Very possibly. Or he was in A LOT of pain and drank a shit ton of gin to help.
The world will never know.
He will be sentenced at a later date.