Welp, here he is. Drink that face in. Why? Because that’s the face of the first-ever time traveller in recorded history. And I don’t mean the time travelling that comes between your 11th tequila shot and the next morning. I mean some (alleged) Marty McFly shit.
“The Oklahoma City Police Department reports that 36-year-old Dante Rashad Anderson was arrested April 15 on a complaint of robbery by force or fear.
Police say at approximately 10:45 a.m. they responded to…a disturbance. Police spoke with employees of a Carl’s Junior who said a man, later identified as Anderson, walked into their restaurant and began screaming and demanding food. Employees were able to get Anderson to leave and he walked across the street to Arby’s. The Arby’s manager told police Anderson jumped on the front counter and demanded food. The man then jumped off the counter and allegedly grabbed the manager and forced her towards a wall. The manager told police the man then grabbed a hand full of bacon and chicken and walked out of the business.
On his way out, Anderson allegedly broke a glass door on the business. Oklahoma City Police Department MSgt. Gary Knight says Anderson was possibly under the influence.
“He was possibly under the influence of some sort of narcotic or intoxicant or suffering from some type of break with reality. He did mention that he is from four years in the future and that is how people will get food during that period of time,” Knight said.
Police were able to track down the man, later discovered to be Anderson, lying on the ground outside of Taco Mayo, 8800 S. Western. Anderson allegedly told police his ankle was broken and that he is “four years advanced” and on his planet “everyone is dead”.
There’s a zero percent chance this guy wasn’t on drugs, right? There’s an old saying that you aren’t day-drinking unless you start before noon, so I’m assuming the same can be said for smoking crack. I mean, if you wake up and have plans to smoke some crack, why wait?
However, let’s say he wasn’t on crack, and he actually did travel from the future. What kind of world should we planning for? Everyone is dead? Carl’s Jr. and Arby’s are your top two go-to food spots to find sustenance? This has to be the result of whoever we elect as POTUS, correct. That or this dude did so much crack that he ate Arby’s bacon by the fistful before taking a nap outside of a Taco joint.