I Guess We’re All Supposed To Be Impressed By This Mom Who Pole Dances While Breastfeeding

Pole dancers are probably one of the most attention-seeking groups of people on the face of the planet. These ladies know damn well that scaling a shiny chrome pole in tight clothes with titillating gestures will force people to take notice of them. And if you attempt to bring up the observation that they appear to resemble strippers, they immediately take offense and claim that they are only pole dancing because it’s a good workout (Because buying a treadmill or going to a gym wouldn’t achieve the same goal). Then they give you a stinkeye because you made the wild correlation of pole dancing and strippers and all of a sudden you’re the asshole.

Another group who crave attention is the small faction of super aggressive breastfeeding women who purposely go out of their way to show the world that they have the right to breastfeed in public, and will plop a tit out anywhere, even inches of people eating. If anyone questions their actions they will lambaste the person then publicize the interaction on a mommy blog or a pro-breastfeeding Facebook page. But what happens when you combine a pole dancer with a mother who gets much satisfaction from flaunting her breastfeeding? You get Ashley Wright.

Wright has been pole dancing for eight years, and when she became a mother, she wasn’t going to let a little thing like having a baby get in the way with her pole dancing.

Wright started doing a few moves on the stripper pole with her daughter Shannon when she was only 1-year-old. “I didn’t start climbing up the pole with her (in a carrier), until she was one or a little closer to two years of age,” she told The Huffington Post. Well that was certainly motherly of her to wait until the baby’s skull fused before she started doing Cirque du Soleil maneuvers several feet in the air. “There are moments in which she would rather spin around with me, than to sit on the floor and do something else. And I, as her mother, am completely okay with having to adjust my pole practice to have her on me.”

Now her daughter is 4-years-old, and Wright still pole dances like the rent is late. She even goes so far as to breastfeed during her pole dancing routine.

Awesome! I don’t actually know if it’s awesome or not, but I assume it is since it has nearly 3 million views on Facebook. However, I really shouldn’t base the merits of videos solely on their popularity since that 2 girls 1 cup video probably has been watched tens of millions of times.

Does anybody think of the children!?!? Little kids puke ALL the time. The adult equivalent of how much a baby pukes is if you combine SantaCon in New York City plus St. Patrick’s Day in Boston plus an open bar New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas. You just move a baby’s leg an inch and that tiny creature is yacking up a milky disaster. So why would you think its a brilliant idea to strap a vomit machine around your hip, spin all herky jerky and have it spew chunks in every direction like an oscillating fan?

Here I feel alive. Here I am magical. Here my body does the unimaginable. Here I show you my wild side!! ROAR!!!

A photo posted by Ashley Wright / Red Swan (@mswrightsway) on

Let’s not forget that pole dancing is rather hazardous hobby that has 101,000 results on YouTube for “Pole Dancing Fail.”