Here Are The Most Googled Valentine’s Gifts For Each State (Yo Montana, Try Harder.)


I’m 28 years old and have stayed single in large part due to avoid the blowout fight I’ll unavoidably have with my girlfriend over something trivial on Valentine’s Day. YO I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOUR FRIEND BECKY GOT EARRINGS FROM CHAD. HE’S A GODDAMN TRUST FUND BABY WHO BOUGHT THEM SHITS AT THE KIOSK IN THE MALL 30 MINUTES AGO AND HE’S PROBABLY CHEATING ON HER BECAUSE HIS NAME’S CHAD.

…I have demons I’m trying to work out.

Anyhoo, the point is, I’m up to my eyeballs in debt and I’m developing this weird rash on my groinal region, the last thing I need is for a girl to tell me she doesn’t appreciate the samurai sword I bought her signed by none other than American Idol’s Randy Jackson.

But for the suckers with girlfriends who have to participate in this manufactured holiday, maybe the below U.S. map indicating the most searched for Valentine’s Day gifts by state will spark the romantic in you. The map is courtesy of the folks over at Estately who pulled the data from Google Trends starting from 2014.

Granted, I’ll probably live a life void of any real passionate, enriching, all-encompassing connection with another human being, but my Valentine’s Day this year is going to be LIT….

[h/t Estately]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.