Next Time You Order Pizza Try To Top The INSANE Delivery Instructions Involving Minotaurs That This Bro Wrote

Delivering pizza has got to be one of the most boring jobs in the world, unless you’re a cool hipster-lookin’ dude who smokes blunts out the driver side window of your car while you’re out on a run. Then it doesn’t sound too bad, but I might’ve come up with that scenario solely because I saw it in a movie somewhere. You shouldn’t smoke weed while driving, kids, but you sure as shit should try to entertain your pizza delivery guy with an at least semi-amusing set of delivery instructions:

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But maybe if you’re getting food delivered to a regular ol’ house don’t make the instructions this fucking complicated, or else your pizza might end up on a roof. Or buried 6 feet underground.