This Guy Chopped Off His Ears And Tattooed His Face Because He’s Obsessed With Looking Like An Animal

Who needs ears, right? Not Ted Richards, the man who had his own ears removed and his face tattooed and disfigured so that he’d look like a parrot. He also had his eyeballs colored to be more parrot-esque, because why the hell not? He wanted to be a parrot and he followed his dreams.

Marc Pacifico is a member of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, and when he first heard about the surgery that Ted Richards, aka the ‘Parrot Man’, had undergone he slammed the procedure as being completely unethical. Dr. Pacifico even called into question whether or not the surgeon who performed Ted Richards’ procedure is medically qualified, claiming that in order for a doctor to turn a man into a parrot s/he must lack an ethical code.



Now whether or not Ted Richards actually wanted to look like a parrot because he wants attention and fame or it’s because he actually wants to look like a parrot for the sake of being a parrot, that we’ll never know. But if I was a betting man I’d likely place my money on the former, that this is for attention. reports:

Englishman Ted Richards, 56, is obsessed by pet parrots Ellie, Teaka, Timneh, Jake and Bubi and has his face tattooed with colourful feathers.
But the animal nut — who has 110 tattoos, 50 piercings and a split tongue — has taken this obsession once step further and has had both his ears removed and is planning to find a surgeon prepared to turn his nose into a beak.
Ted, a retired shoe factory worker, got his first tattoo in 1976 and has since built up a collection of body modifications covering almost his entire body — including a peace sign branded on his left shoulder with a 750 degrees centigrade hot iron and two magnets implanted in his hands.
He scours the internet looking for new procedures and says his facial transformation is a tribute to his “babies” — Ellie, a green winged macaw, and Teaka, a harlequin macaw.

I’m reminded of a Galileo quote here:

“For in the sciences the authority of thousands of opinions is not worth as much as one tiny spark of reason in an individual man. Besides, the modern observations deprive all former writers of any authority, since if they had seen what we see, they would have judged as we judge.”
Galileo Galilei, Frammenti e lettere

The risks of the six-hour surgery to remove his ears didn’t seem to bother Ted.
He added: “I could have died from a massive infection or something. It’s a major job.
“It came so close to my skull, as when you look at me full on you can’t see nothing. And the nerve endings and blood vessels too. Everything is risky, but I wasn’t worried one bit.
“If there had been any major complications it was down to me [not the surgeon]. But I’m lucky as I heal so quickly.”
Ted says he no longer speaks to his family and has just two friends.
He said: “The parrots love it. And I met someone, Suzannah, who I’m moving in with in Brighton.
“She loves it as she is into body modification as well. She is going to get a lot more done.

This is the lasting impression I’m left with, after reading all of that:

May he find happiness and whatever it is that he’s looking for in the world, or something like that…. At the very least I hope this man’s parrots outlive him, because I can’t imagine what that meltdown would be like. A man who’s so obsessed with his pet that he transfigures his body to look like his pet and then loses that pet…That is not a story I want to read about.

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