Playboy bunny Carla Howe is dishing the dirt — possibly the stuff left around the Playboy mansion — on life with Hugh Hefner these days. Her tale is sad, but typical, considering THE GUY IS ALMOST 90!
ON HEFNER’S FREE TIME: “Most of the time all he wants is to play chess with his friends and watch old films.”
ON HIS HOME DECOR STYLES: “He almost never leaves home and refuses to change anything in the mansion. The whole place feels like it’s stuck in the 1980s.”
ON CONJUGAL VISITS: When you’re here you have to be in by the 9 p.m. curfew. You’re not allowed to invite any friends up to see you. You’re definitely not allowed to have male visitors.
ON HEFNER STILL HANGING AND BANGING: “I’m really relieved. In the past he would have slept with all the girls. We’ve heard stories about him having 16 girls in the grotto and once he’d finished they would be passed to the next man there. But now it’s not like that. To be honest, he’s so old now I couldn’t imagine him trying to make a move. He has to walk with people around him because he’s frail.
This is all very sad, considering the life Hefner used to have, but my biggest question is why the fuck is Howe still hanging around? Playboy doesn’t do naked girls anymore, no one reads the magazine, being a bunny isn’t the career launcher it once was and, oh yeah, YOU’RE A HUMAN BEING WITH RIGHTS.
Don’t sit around and say “this sucks” and put an old dude on blast. Just leave.