Want To Get A Raise? Have Sex. Science Says Employees Who Bang More, Earn More.

Looking to make more coin at your job? Science says that the more you bump nasties, the more money you will make. And who are we to argue with science?

A study conducted by Cambridge’s Anglia Ruskin University claims that the more sex a person had, the more likely they were to earn more than their non-fucking peers.

Economist Dr. Nick Drydakis carefully dissected data from 7,500 Greek people who elected to take part in the critical research about their sex lives and their jobs. The fucking study, which was published in the International Journal of Manpower, found the more often a participant had sex, they were likely to earn more.

The benefits were especially pronounced for those aged between 26 and 50 and those with ongoing health problems. Employees who had sex two or three times a week earn 4.5 percent more than those who have sex less often. This does not mean storm into your coworker’s cubicle, whip your choad out and expect a raise. That will not give you a bigger paycheck, it will only get you fired and hit with a sexual harassment lawsuit.

The research also states that workers with health problems that are regularly banging earn 1.5 percent more than those with similar ailments who are not banging.

The investigation revealed that sexual activity was “a barometer for health, quality of life, well-being and happiness.”

“In the absence of these elements, people may become susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety and depression – all factors that can affect their working life,” states Dr. Drydakis.

This logic correlates to Maslow’s Need Hierarchy Theory which claims that the happier and more fulfilled individuals are in their lives, the more productive and successful they will be in their work. Sex is in the “Love and Belonging” level, the third most important need on Maslow’s pyramid.

I’m no psychologist (I know you’re surprised, me too), but his totally makes sense. The poor guy who is married and his wife has stopped giving up that sweet poon is more likely to be a real fucking grump than the guy who is plowing fields of beaver on the regular. And the guy getting his dick wet is less likely to be irritable and ready to conquer the day because his plumbing isn’t all backed up with poison.

Every guy just immediately sent this article with their girlfriend or wife.


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