Angry Ass Rhino Goes Nuclear On An SUV, Attacks Tourists And Totally F’s Up Their Vehicle
Things in life that are not to be fucked with: Wu-Tang Clan, homeless dudes on bath salts, and last but not least, the rhinoceros. Seriously, after watching this video I’m now convinced that rhinos are the ‘sharks of the African bush’. They look like they’re all chill until you get them revved up and then they go Four Loko Crazy on your ass. Beating the hell out of your car and leaving you sitting there with a pile of chocolate pudding in your underpants. After seeing this footage I now have zero interest in ever coming face to face with a rhinoceros, unless I’m standing in a trophy room:
Now for a little history on the rhinoceros (also, there’s a badass video of an elephant crashing a picnic below):
Colloquially known in Africa as the ‘obese bush unicorn’, the rhino usually spends it time dropping turds near the watering hole while blaming it on the warthogs. I’m dead serious here, rhinos are the most famous turd droppers in all of Africa, just check out this GIF if you don’t believe me:
Here’s that GIF in reverse, just in case you didn’t get a good enough look the first time:
Only on rare occasions does the rhino venture away from the watering hole, and when it does the rhino only goes near the road to fuck with tourists that are trying to take its picture. You see, much like the Aboriginal Australians who believe that taking a photo of someone captures a piece of their souls the rhino also has a deep seeded fear of photography, but in the case of the rhino it’s because they’re worried that their side bitches will see those pics and find out that they were skipping the family barbecue to drop turds by the watering hole when they lied and said they had to babysit.
Enough about rhinos though, I’m tired of talking about the rhino’s turds. Let’s check out this footage of an elephant crashing a family picnic in the bush:
I’ve got some friends that are getting married this year and going to a handful of African countries on their honeymoon, after watching both of these videos above I’m not convinced that they are very, VERY misguided in their desires to honeymoon in Africa.