Yo Bro, Scientists Have Discovered Why You Can’t Handle Your Booze–Ya, You

A study published in the Journal of Translational Psychiatry found that the reason you act like a stumbling amateur dipshit after consuming small amounts of alcohol isn’t because you’re a little bitch, it’s because your mom and dad are little bitches.

According to the Independent,

Some people are genetically predisposed to reckless or impulsive behaviour when under the influence of alcohol, scientists have found.

A genetic mutation has been linked with impulsivity – especially when drunk – in a study of a gene responsible for a receptor protein in the brain needed by the neurotransmitter serotonin 2b, they said.

The discovery could account for why some people cannot “hold their drink” and are prone to erratic behaviour even after consuming a relatively small quantity of alcohol, the researchers said.

The findings might lead to drugs or treatment to combat severe impulsive behavior. Like weed.

This post is intended for, but not limited to, the bros below. Poor, poor, genetic mutants. Myself included.

[h/t Independent]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.