Guy Arrested For Having Sex In Van. Wait, Sorry, Having Sex WITH A VAN

Tell your dad he wasted most of his teen years trying to have sex in his van. He should have just been screwing the van and saved the time trying to convince girls “intercourse in a motor vehicle made to look like a living room” isn’t creepy AT ALL.

WDTN of Dayton reports that police responded to the 700 block of St. Nicholas Street for a report of a man with his pants down swinging from a stop sign.

When officers arrived, they found Michael Henson walking around wearing only gym shorts and shoes.

Was he swinging from the sign or were his pants? Eh, doesn’t matter. Here’s the sex part.

A woman who called police told officers she saw Henson standing near a parked van at the 800 block of St. Nicholas Street. She stated that the man pulled his shorts down and placed his genitals in the front grill of a van parked in the street, WDTN reports.

I honestly pictured the gas tank getting the hose injection. The grill is a little risky.

The witness said Henson continued his actions with the van for a while before he passed out in a nearby yard.

Ugh, typical man.

[via 11Alive]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.