Too High To Remember How To Romance A Woman? There’s Now Stoner Sex Ed

For most stoners, smoking pot is a solitary activity. You certainly may be with your buddies, but after torching a j-bone, you are likely putting on some music, firing up a PlayStation 4 or watching The Dark Knight Trilogy.

It becomes a self-reinforcing loop. You are quiet because you smoked pot, then you are quiet when you are not stoned, and after a few months of regularly smoking pot, you completely lose the ability to interact with humans, high or not.

Worst of it is trying to talk to women. All you know is how to be high and quiet. Even though you are cool and suave and funny and endearing, you don’t know what the fuck you are doing anymore. You go to a bar and try, but you feel out of place, and no one talks to you, and why can’t you be at home right now, wrapped around your bong instead of the warm embrace of a lady.

But you wake up kinda depressed, because you totally should be getting laid. You’re cool, dammit. Except the cycle repeats itself, you fail, and you smoke and eventually you give up.

WORRY NOT, for help is on the way in the form of Stoner Sex Ed. From DNA Info:

Harrison Schultz and Lorna Shannon, who have both worked as dating coaches, are hosting Occupy [Weed Street]’s first “Sex Ed For Stoners” lesson Tuesday with the goal of teaching tokers how to navigate sex and the dating scene, as well as the line between sexual harassment and flirting, the couple said.

“These are people who are used to getting high alone,” Schultz, 31, said. “They’re not used to getting out of the closet. We expect these people to have some awkward tendencies. We want people to learn from this moment.”

It’s true. It’s tough. But the solution according to the duo is not ‘stop smoking pot and return to a state of normalcy,’ but rather, get high and practice. It makes perfect. This session begins with smoking pot (sure!), followed by advice from dating coaches, before heading to a bar to try out the tips.

God, that sounds like maybe the worst thing ever. I would never do that, and I was desperate, lonely pothead for most of my 20s. But at least it sounds like the founders’ aims are pure.

Schultz and Shannon were inspired to address sex after they heard that some individuals in the activist group were making borderline inappropriate comments or practicing poor social etiquette.

Rather than addressing people individually, they wanted to have a broader, more “sex-positive” discussion on how to approach people for flirting, dating or one-night stands.

But most importantly, they want people to keep getting high.

Being high, they added, is more conducive to interesting conversations than being drunk.

“It’s a more socially mature way of interaction,” Schultz said

Yea okay whatever jerk off motion sips whiskey.