Blood Covered Florida Teen High On Flakka Strips Naked And Claims She’s God And Satan, And That’s Just The Beginning

In maybe the darkest segment in the Flakka series, a naked 17-year-old girl was arrested last week in Melbourne, Fla., after she allegedly jumped through the glass window of an occupied home, punched a car and a random stranger, while repeatedly screaming “I AM GOD!” and “I AM SATAN!” (Can’t be both, sweetie.) Oh ya, she was also covered in blood.

Need a minute to digest that? Me too.

….

K.

We already know that Flakka is a drug sweeping the streets of Florida and is reportedly more potent than meth and can cause aggressive, zombie-like behavior. But shit.

Melbourne police spotted the teen after she was reported to be missing earlier in the day when two men flagged down the officers.

Officers used a Taser to stun the teen. She was taken to the hospital and when she regained her sanity, the girl told officers that she took what she thought was LSD earlier that day but refused to tell officers where she got it. Why? Well..

Melbourne Police Commander Dan Lynch told Click Orlando,

“Whatever she was on, it was some mind-altering narcotic. The characteristics which exhibited are just like flakka. One of the characteristics is that it raises your inner core temperature…so that causes them to take their clothes off.”

The teen was charged with burglary, battery and criminal mischief.

If you think this chick isn’t in good company, you’re mistaken. Just last month, this Florida dude was captured running ass naked through traffic trying to dodge invisible attackers.

You couldn’t pay me to try Flakka. Well, you probably could, but it would definitely have to be at LEAST $20.

[H/T Gawker]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.