The vertical striped, going out to get laid shirt of the mid-2000s happened to coincide with the drunkest time of my life, my mid-20s. I turned 21 in 2004, right when they became popular. Then, I was right out of college, with lots of spending cash, and so, so many sweet, sweet shirts.
Banana Republic. Abercrombie & Fitch. Aeropostale. Every single one of them sick. Every one of them on me while I was a drunken mess, trying to score. With chicks.
This time period happened to coincide with the launch of Facebook photos, so my embarrassing, drunken antics in my awesome, aful shirts are still available for everyone to see. Here are my favorite.
What a Gap power shirt, orange with hints of purple, that I busted out in fall of 2006 to head to Big Al’s, a bar at Virginia Tech. I thought I was going to hook up with the girl all the way on the left. I did not.
A green, grey, and white number from J. Crew, that was right on for belting out some karaoke. I did not get laid that night.
Blue and black from Aeropostale that I wore to the beach in 09, the waning year of the craze. But I wasn’t gonna let a little trend passing stop me from wearing my shirts.
How could you not sleep with me in this number, from Banana Republic, as I danced on a party bus coming back from a bar. Spoiler: No one did.
The hemp necklace and the exposed white undershirt is what really sealed the deal with this shirt.
Which was, apparently, my move.
At my cousin’s wedding’s after party in ’08. He told me a girl wanted to hook up with me that night, and we started chatting. After a bit, she told me she wanted to go back to her hotel room. I thought she meant alone. The mid-2000s were not really my years.
At Rumors in D.C., I believe, preparing to bag tag a budy of mine. That grey and black number came from H & M, one of my first purchases there.
That collar is nearly as wide as my entire shoulder.
French cuffs! Classing it up on New Year’s Eve 2004, and no, I did not get laid.
I did get laid in this one! A blue and white striped shirt from the Gap that I wore all through 2005. Damn, I look good. Notice the contrasting orange of the undershirt.
And just for fun, here is the first vertically striped shirt I ever bought, in summer 2003, which I still have. It’s from Abercrombie, of course.
Still looks fucking good, right? I might have to wear this shit out tonight.