The Thirst Is Real: Man Travels 2,000 Miles To Have Sex With Horse, Wear Equine Urine-Soaked Shirts
How far would you travel for sex? 5 miles? 20 miles? 100 miles? For me if it’s more than 15 minutes then I’ll just jerk off and save the gas money. Apparently when you’re looking for sex with a horse you can’t be so selective because this screwball traveled across the country in an attempt to fuck a horse.
Meet Michael Crawford, a 68-year-old Pennsylvania man who setup a sexual rendezvous with a horse in Arizona. The freak placed an online ad for a request to fuck a horse and someone replied to his bizarre desire. During numerous email correspondences and phone calls the two coordinated a meeting and Crawford was quickly on a plane to Phoenix.
Does this idiot not realize that the state he was already in has like a gazillion farms with horses on them? As soon as you get west of Philly there’s nothing but hundreds of miles of farms until you get to Pittsburgh. Ever hear of the benefits of supporting local businesses? Plus it’s only a misdemeanor in his home state so why travel 2,000 miles to get your perverted rocks off?
However the man that responded to Crawford’s ad was actually an undercover detective for Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office animal crimes division.
During their exchanges, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio said detectives discovered that Crawford has been sexually aroused by horses for years and has traveled extensively to find horse owners in various cities that will let him fuck their animals. His preference was to molest a mini horse. Must have learned the hard lessons from the guy who was killed in Seattle from an amorous encounter with a horse.
According to Arpaio:
Crawford told the undercover deputy that he purchases a nonrefundable plane ticket to Phoenix and would be bringing five shirts on which he wanted to horse to urinate. He told detectives he would mail the clothing back to his home in Pennsylvania, where he apparently planned to wear them for arousal purposes.
How many boners did this maniac get throughout his life when anyone casually said, “I have to piss like a racehorse.”
When Crawford landed in Phoenix, he was met at the airport by undercover deputies. Probably wasn’t very difficult to spot this deviant. Just look for the creepy guy with hay spilling out of his suitcase and a raging hard-on in his slacks.
“I take this crime seriously,” Arpaio said. “It is part of my office’s fight against animal abuse. These animals are not meant to be sex toys for the perverted.”
With all the incriminating evidence that included emails, recorded phone calls, postings and a conversation from the airport to the horse-fucking locale, authorities arrested Crawford for intentions of committing bestiality, a class 6 felony.
I did extensive research on this topic that included Google searches of “states where bestiality is legal” and “countries where bestiality is legal,” which is totally going to put me on some FBI list of sexual deviants and make my wife question her choice in husbands when she sees my browser history. I discovered that heinous act is legal in Argentina, Brazil, Colombia, Mexico, Cambodia, Thailand, Japan, Russia, Finland, Hungary and Romania. It’s the same distance to Mexico so why the fuck wouldn’t this guy do his sick deeds in a place more accepting? I’m not encouraging this behavior, just mystified by the lack of prudent planning and foresight when committing a crime.