BREAKING NEWS: Chronic Weed Smoking Really Isn’t Bad For You At All So Toke Up, Bros!

Cannabis Supporters Hope For Legalization

Getty Image / Sean Gallup

New research on the effects of chronic marijuana use has come back with extremely positive results depending on how well you treat portions of your daily hygiene regiment. If that sounds confusing and intentionally vague that’s because I wrote it that way, but the results below are FANFUCKINGTASTIC for any of you bros who live and die by the bong.

via Christopher Ingraham at The Washington Post’s WonkBlog:

Researchers led by Madeline H. Meier of Arizona State University tracked the marijuana habits of 1,037 New Zealanders from birth to middle age to see what effect those habits have on some common measures of physical health, including lung function, systemic inflammation, cholesterol levels, blood pressure, body weight, blood sugar and dental health.
What they found was surprising: After controlling for other factors known to affect health, especially tobacco use and socioeconomic status, marijuana use had no negative effect on any measure of health, except for dental health. People who smoked more weed had a higher incidence of gum disease.

In some domains, marijuana use was associated with better health outcomes: “Findings showed that cannabis use was associated with slightly better metabolic health (smaller waist circumference, lower body mass index, better lipid profiles, and improved glucose control),” the study determined. However, these associations were fairly small and by no means strong enough to recommend regular bong hits as a weight management strategy.

So smoking weed every day is about as harmful as not flossing your teeth, which is a coincidence because if you smoke weed every day then the chances that you don’t floss your teeth are higher. And in some cases chronic marijuana use is even associated with BETTER HEALTH.

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE. The United States Government no longer has a monopoly on all of the marijuana-related research across the globe and with every passing year the misguided and negative stigmas related to cannabis are squashed as actual scientific studies without bias continue to produce positive results.

If you’re interested in reading through the full study you can do so by CLICKING HERE.

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(tip of the hat to WaPo’s WonkBlog for digging up this new research!)