I mean, one or both of you at some point obviously decided that you weren’t compatible, right?
So why, despite the very good chance that you will hate yourself afterwards, is sex with an ex so freaking good? You know it’s wrong, but it just feels so right.
Turns out there is a scientific reason for it. Yes, we can now blame science for our being susceptible to the backslide. Phew…
According to Medical Daily…
Most of us know revisiting our relationship past isn’t always a good idea. Sex with our ex is something everyone warns us about, yet a few texts, dinner, and drinks later, we’re unable to resist the carnal temptation. We are overwhelmed by the surge of endorphins released during sex, which is what stimulates good feelings throughout the body.
Neuroscientists at Northwestern University suggest orgasms feel so good because sexual stimulation sends the brain into an altered state of consciousness; it blocks everything else, and allows us to solely focus on the sensation. Sex releases neurochemicals that forge emotions, feelings of attachment, and even love, according to Psychology Today. The level of pleasure we feel is connected to the release of the chemicals, which can be used to measure the intensity of our orgasm.
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Alright, so why do we do it?
Relationship experts believe breakups can leave us with attachment needs that are unfulfilled after the relationship, and in this case, it’s sex. Patrick Wanis, human behavior and relationship expert, says people may be drawn to having sex with someone from the past because it’s safe, or perceived to be safe.
“This person is familiar. Familiarity can create security,” he told Medical Daily.
So it’s okay then?
A 2009 study in the journal Personal Relationships found partners who stay broken up were more likely to report greater clarity in their lives than those who hook up with their exes. The researchers at Kansas State University noted couples in a cyclical relationship tended to be more impulsive about relationship shifts, like moving in together, buying a pet together, or having children together, compared to their counterparts.
These couples were also less satisfied with their partner, had poor communication, were more likely to make decisions that negatively impacted the relationship, had lower self-esteem, and a higher uncertainty about a future with their partner.
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