Check Out Andre Iguodala Spitting Game To A Cute Blonde Seated Near The Bench During Last Night’s Massacre

If I’m Tyronn Lue, I’m showing this clip to my squad before Wednesday’s game. You’re on the biggest stage in basketball deep into the fourth quarter and your team is getting so throttled that the other team is chatting up fans like they’re at the bar at Chili’s after getting fucked up on frozen margaritas. I haven’t seen someone so checked out of a game since Kobe’s season-long retirement jerkoff tour.

There is only one person feeling worse than the Cavs after a 33 point thrashing: her date.

“Maybe if I stand up she’ll remember that I remortgaged my house to buy her ticket.”

Two tickets to an NBA Finals game: $100,000
Warriors T-Shirt: $20
Nachos and Hot Dog: $41
Ubering home alone after your date gets drilled in the locker room by a 6’6” NBA player: PRICELESS

There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else, there’s PornHub. Enjoy the loneliest masturbation session in the history of mankind bruh.

[h/t Busted Coverage]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.