Well I’ll Be Damned, Ben Roethlisberger Got Skinny

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Back in December, we spoke with NFL insider Jay Glazer about the fallout that came with saying Ben Roethlisberger and fitness are “allergic” to each other. Glazer said that the 39-year-old’s idea of a great off-season workout program is “doing one yoga session, playing golf, and drinking some beer.”

This did not sit well with Big Ben, who phoned Glazer the following day and admitted that he while he’s never been a big “workout guy,” he’s really throwing himself into fitness during the twilight of his career.

Seven months later, it was reported that Roethlisberger is in the “best shape of his life,” adhering to a diet stricter than Tom Brady’s, according to Ben’s camp.

Welp, the big reveal has finally come as the 18-year vet arrived at training camp Wednesday, and I’ll be damned.

The Fat Bastard memes days are over. Fat Thor, good riddance. Ron Burgandy guzzling gallons of milk while going off the rails, find a new slant.

We are ushering in a new era: Bony Ben.

I guess fat-shaming really does work?



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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.