100 bucks says this guy beats up yuppies in Southie.
We ran into our homie Knuckles from Boston. S/o to NBS
Typical (horrible) Seattle Fan
Then we met the coolest Seattle fan of all time point, blank, period.
She dropped that two hundo cover charge to rock with us.
Ok … so then around 3:30 … Ya know, like a cool half an hour before the biggest game of our lives starts…
Regal, Yancey and Mike get thrown out of the bar by security because some Seattle C**kboy decided to pick a fight with the kid from Dorchester (Regal). Being in his good standing with the world and perfect upbringing, he turned down the fight in favor of being allowed to stay … but the staff at McFadden’s decided to throw everyone out anyways.
[Sidebar: The McFadden’s staff had the quickest hook I’ve ever seen especially for Patriots fans because they were outnumbered and not afraid to tell people to fuck off. Pretty sleazy to charge 200 a head and then throw people out for chirping so fuck them … except for Sam, one of the managers, he was cool]
Right around this same time Ryan, Nat’s best friend from Boston, showed up. They were trying to get him to pay 200 bucks to get in for the game but now Regal, Mike and Yancey had just been thrown out. Was it even worth him coming in? We were all at kind of a loss for words. Good news was Regal still had his wrist band on.
It was bedlam outside the bar http://instagram.com/p/ynJLC3IJgx/
We had to think fast:
1st: Nat distracted security and I found a dude waving his ’12th Man flag’ and asked him to wave it near the fence. He agreed and while he waved, Mike snuck in behind the cover of his antics. On behalf of #PatsNation we’d like to thank you for helping us out. We’d also like to add that the number 12 luck helped us out there …clearly the good karma of the god Tom Brady wanted us back in that bar.
2nd: Regal and Nat figured take advantage of the confusion. We met behind a ball throwing contest blow up thing (So many lame ass deflate gate jokes here). Out of sight, we decided to ‘switch’ Brady jerseys (I had a red throwback on and he had a white one so we flip flopped). He then threw a hat on. Nat walked back in one way, Regal walked in the other. He had kept his wristband. We were in like Flynn.
3rd: Yance got caught jumping the fence. Then he did it again and made it.
4th: Since we supposedly we ‘had a table’ they let Ryan cut the line but still had to pay the 200 dollars. At this moment a fight broke out inside (most likely some more Patriots fans) Once again taking advantage of the confusion, the manager and some others had to run off, leaving just Nat, Ryan and the door girl. She gave us the wristband and asked if we had already paid.
‘Of course we have, hun.’
Boom.
Back in the game.
Kickoff.
…
I’m not going to waste time and recap the game because you already know what happened. The greatest QB of all time never let the ball hit the ground on his last drive. Kearse did his best David Tyree impersonation and then a kid named Malcolm Butler s**t on Seattle so bad that he now owns stock in Starbucks by default. BR4DY KIDDDDDD!
https://platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.jsThe Seattle bar goes silent. We of course do not. Massholes unite and sing “Sweet Caroline”. Note: Nat raps better than he can sing.
After this shitshow we somehow managed to grab a cab and head back to our place and get showered up.
We decided throwing on black suits was a must and then we took a 45 minute Uber to Chandler, Arizona to crash the Official Patriots After Party.
We had no tickets, no passes, no internal help and no connections that we could act like we had. We lied to the Uber driver and told him we were staying at the hotel. This allowed us to get past three roadblock checkpoints of Police activity before we even reached the front door of the hotel.
11:40:38 PM at The Sheraton Wild Horses Pass in Chandler, AZ.
Upon arrival we utilized our black suits and entered the building at it’s side door location where there was no security at the time. Regal and Yancey went first. Nat and Mike went through a different door. There were some people looking at us so Nat whipped his phone out and threw on his best Boston accent and began to yell into the phone:‘ WHERE ARE THE F!$@#%& RESERVATIONS. I HAVE HIS WHOLE FAMILY HERE HOLDING THEIR D%@$. I’VE BEEN HERE FOR AN HOUR WAITING INSIDE THE PARTY’. The plan worked. People looked at Nat like he was on drugs and didn’t bother to ask him for credentials. He slipped through some curtains and found myself on the main floor only to see…
…Pitbull?
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The next few hours got extremely out of hand. The drinks were all free, the music was loud and the need to ‘express ourselves’ became more and more demanding. It was at this moment we started a dance party / circle in front of the stage with the Patriots cheerleaders. An assortment of nonsense carried on here:
Nat and Vince.
El Prez and the crew.
Nat, Mike, Regal, Bones Jones and Chandler Jones
Bosangeles.com
Some epic photobombing.
Bosangeles.com
[Sidebar: Revis turned us down for a picture. That’s cool. We’ll make sure to forgive him if he decides to sign with us. He said he was chill in’ ]
Then things got really crazy.
Patriots players started partying on the stage so Mike figured ‘Screw it, I look like Johnny Manziel, I’m going on stage.’ He was in no way shape or form intimidated by Brandon Browner or anyone else up there. I’m forever glad no tackles were executed.
From there Mike decided to pull Nat up and make it look he was supposed to be there. From there Mike pulled up Regal and Nat eventually pulled up Ryan. Boom. Now everyone thinks we are Patriots players. We have no idea where Yancey is.
Nat rapped along to Jay-z songs with McCourty.
1:35:32 AM
Then all of a sudden we noticed Rick Ross was coming on stage.
As drug dealing anthems echoed through the jubilant halls of the Sheraton while Pats players danced with glee … up the stage came the stuntiest, the most bad ass mother f***** of an owner in all of pro sports…
The coldest sneaker game in the world…