The Cleveland Cavs Celebrated Like A Bunch Of Squares By Forgoing Champagne For Chocolate Milk And Water

Have you really accomplished anything¬†if you don’t break out the champagne? Sure, you may have physically completed everything you needed to, but is it that unexciting you don’t even want to celebrate it? You can’t celebrate anything without a lil’ bubbly. I actually consider people who don’t drink champagne to celebrate as untrustworthy.

Take the Cavs. Bunch of guys who just made it to the NBA Finals the same year that they promised their fans that they would win a championship and they had a water and milk party. I mean look at this “big party”.

They look like a bunch of middle-schoolers at a pool party having a water fight. “Hey Lebron, you’re going to the NBA Finals! What’re you going to do next?!” “Have some water!!” Sick Lebron. Way to party. This is why I don’t trust these guys to cover the spread. If they were really excited they would have had champagne. Water is too premeditated. It says “We won, but we won on our terms. So be careful which way you bet on the game, because we may bet the other way and fuck you over.”¬†Plus,¬†I’m pretty sure Kevin Love fell asleep in the post-game interview.

Never trust a narcoleptic. They’re always sleeping on you.

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