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In 2008, the Detroit Lions ended their season with an impressively atrocious 0-16 record, with only two of their games capable of being described as remotely competitive. It appears this year’s Cleveland Browns squad— which currently 0-10— is on pace to match their record, and while the one game they forced into overtime will prevent them from earning the honor of “historically bad,” their season has still been an absolute dumpster fire.
The Browns have been plagued by front office incompetency, inexplicable play calls, and plenty of juicy Twitter drama, and their awfulness already has their fans preparing for a parade to celebrate a winless season. If you have— for some reason— made the conscious decision to be a Browns fan, you might as well hope the team goes the opposite of undefeated so there’s at least some reason the season is memorable.
The Browns haven’t made the post-season since 2002 (their last playoff win was in 1994), and while it doesn’t appear their streak is going to end this season, there’s actually a chance they can secure a spot— as long as 46 things end up happening by the end of week 17.
For The Win’s Steven Ruiz took the time to put together a list of possible outcomes that could result in the Browns making the playoffs with a 6-10 record, which I imagine involved channeling his inner Richard Nash and frantically scrawling things on every window in his house for hours on end.
Here’s everything that needs to happen:
Week 12
1. Browns beat the Bengals
2. Chiefs beat the Bills
3. Titans beat the Colts
4. Patriots beat the Dolphins
5. Broncos-Raiders tie
6. Texans beat the Ravens
7. Cowboys beat the Chargers
8. Panthers beat the JetsWeek 13
9. Browns beat the Chargers
10. Patriots beat the Bills
11. Broncos beat the Dolphins
12. Jaguars beat the Colts
13. Chiefs beat the Jets
14. Titans beat the Texans
15. Steelers beat the Bengals
16. Lions beat the Ravens
17. Giants beat the RaidersWeek 14
18. Browns beat the Packers
19. Colts beat the Bills
20. Jets beat the Broncos
21. Chiefs beat the Raiders
22. Patriots beat the Dolphins
23. Bears beat the Bengals
24. Redskins beat the Chargers
25. 49ers beat the TexansWeek 15
26. Browns beat the Ravens
27. Broncos beat the Colts
28. Chiefs beat the Chargers
29. Dolphins beat the Bills
30. Jaguars beat the Texans
31. Saints beat the Jets
32. Vikings beat the Bengals
33. Cowboys beat the RaidersWeek 16
34. Browns beat the Bears
35. Ravens beat the Colts
36. Chiefs beat the Dolphins
37. Chargers beat the Jets
38. Patriots beat the Bills
39. Steelers beat the Texans
40. Redskins beat the BroncosWeek 17
41. Browns beat the Steelers
42. Chiefs beat the Broncos
43. Colts beat the Texans
44. Bills-Dolphins tie
45. Patriots beat the Jets
46. Bengals beat the Ravens
I wish the Browns the best of luck in managing to make the Miracle on Ice look like child’s play.