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Dale Earnhardt Jr. was sponsored by Budweiser for several seasons during his 19-year NASCAR racing career. And, much like most racers, he was more than happy to sample some of his sponsor’s product now and then.
Now, he may not be able to shotgun a beer as well as his buddy Clint Bowyer anymore, but Junior has complied more than enough stories of drunken escapades to get him through the next few decades even he never touches another drop of alcohol.
This week on his Dale Jr. Download podcast, Dale and the gang were discussing a tweet posted by his podcast company Dirty Mo Media that read, “Finish this sentence. I was so drunk once I…”
Finish this sentence:
I was so drunk once that I… pic.twitter.com/W7mLSvTWYN
— Dirty Mo Media (@DirtyMoMedia) May 11, 2019
After receiving numerous quality responses…
Peed into a fan blowing back at me.
— Trevor Williams (@DriverSeat57) May 12, 2019
…Junior was asked how he would finish the sentence. He did not disappoint.
First, though, Junior said he couldn’t think of (or more accurately, remember) anything so he asked his wife Amy if she remembered a story. She did.
“Me and her, when we first started dating, we had been partying with friends for hours. Everybody went home, and we weren’t tired. And I said, ‘Hey, you know what’d be good?’ Me and her had just started dating, and I said, ‘Have you ever raced?’ You know, ‘I’ve got these go karts, and we can go race.’ I’ve got this small, little, tiny road course track. It’s kind of shaped like a kidney. I was like, ‘It’s right next to this creek, and we just finished it probably a couple months ago.’ And she was like, ‘Yeah, let’s go! Let’s go check it out! Let’s go race, I’ll do it.’
“And so we got on these [go-karts] at 2 o’clock in the morning, and, I mean, it’s dark. We’re racing, there’s no lights at this track. … There was a building on one end of it, so that was the only light that we had was sort of the corner lights off that building shining across it. I ran into her in this corner, and she didn’t lift off the gas. When I hit her, she just mashed the throttle wide open and just held it and almost went into the creek.
“She went over the berm that was sort of the protective berm to keep people from going into the creek, and the back tire got hung up on the root [of] this tree that was kind of growing out of the side of the bank of the creek. And she’s literally hanging into the creek, and it’s like six [feet] down. It was straight down into this creek, man. And it scared the hell out of me. I jumped up, she’s laughing. I thought I done ruined this relationship right here. She’s going to be so mad that she doesn’t want to see me again.
“So we had that going on, and then one time I peed in a closet.”
Skip ahead to around the 1:23.00 mark to hear him tell it. It’s even funnier that way.
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