In the matter of one week, Eli Manning has executed the biggest rebrand since Ray Lewis became a God-guy in an effort to make everyone forget he was involved in a double homicide.
For the entirety of Eli’s 15-year NFL career, his public perception could be aptly compared to unbuttered popcorn. Eli always seemed like the dude who would only enjoy a cold O’Doul’s before new episodes of The Big Bang Theory, a show he really didn’t understand but couldn’t figure out how to change the channel.
I would like to apologize to Eli for my disparaging views on his entire existence, because this week it came to light that Eli fucks.
In a recent ESPN profile of Eli Manning, former New York Giants kicker Lawrence Tynes revealed that Eli Manning had a Beer Guy™ at every single stadium in the NFL. A person who was tasked with bringing Eli a 6-pack or 12-pack of cold boys after every game, regardless of the outcome, so Manning could crush bubbly muscles on the team bus with his fellow veterans.
The revelation came after footage surfaced recently of Eli Manning and Daniel Jones playing flip cup at a dive bar in New Jersey after the Giants’ fourth win of the season. Manning also made thousands of napkins rain in the bar (a weird move), but I respect the high ‘fuck it’ value.
After practice Thursday, Jones was asked about getting legless at a Hoboken bar with his two-time Super Bowl MVP backup.
“That was a one-shot deal there,” Jones said through a laugh. “It’s fun. Like I said, he’s a fun guy to be around, he’s a fun guy to hang out with and I’ve really enjoyed being with him.”
It genuinely seems like the 22-year-old Jones enjoys being around Eli and the passing of the torch hasn’t drawn any bad blood. When asked what kind of role Manning has stepped into for him this season, as a friend or mentor, Jones heaped praid on the 38-year-old.
“I think he’s been all of that,” Jones said. “To have a guy like that to work with everyday and to learn football, learn how the NFL works, has been … I’ve been fortunate to be in that position. He’s a fun guy to hang out with, he’s a fun guy to come to work with, you learn a lot just hanging around him. I’ve been lucky to be around him.”
It’s only a matter of time before Eli retires and commits his life to getting blind drunk on Gronk’s party cruise annually.
[h/t New York Post]