Sports

If Kirk Herbstreit’s Dreadful Prediction About The Return Of Football Is Correct, We’re In For A Hellish Fall

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Mark Cuban predicted this week that the NBA could return to action as soon as mid-May, and it brought the taste back to my food and the color back to my eyes.

I know I’m preaching to the choir when I say I’m having sports withdrawals that can only be managed through excessive binge-drinking, so lets promise each other that we will never take even a fucking preseason game for granted for as long as we both shall live. And keep drinking nightly. Shit is fun.

Great. Kirk Herbstreit has some dystopian thoughts that may spiral you into chaos. Please be seated.

The “College Gameday” host went on ESPN radio Thursday to give his dire predication about how the Tom Hanks Virus will affect the upcoming college and professional football season.

“I’ll be shocked if we have NFL football this fall, if we have college football. I’ll be so surprised if that happens,” Kirk said.

“Just because from what I understand, people that I listen to, you’re 12 to 18 months from a [coronavirus] vaccine. I don’t know how you let these guys go into locker rooms and let stadiums be filled up and how you can play ball. I just don’t know how you can do it with the optics of it.” [via TMZ]

Kirk, stop. I just watched the entire Air Bud franchise and I am too fragile at the moment for news of this gravity.

Sto—

“Just because from what I understand, people that I listen to, you’re 12 to 18 months from a [coronavirus] vaccine. I don’t know how you let these guys go into locker rooms and let stadiums be filled up and how you can play ball. I just don’t know how you can do it with the optics of it.”
Kirk said if he was the NFL commish or in charge of the NCAA, he would shut it down ASAP — “Next thing you know you got a locker room full of guys that are sick. And that’s on your watch? I wouldn’t want to have that.”
“As much as I hate to say it, I think we’re scratching the surface of where this thing’s gonna go.”

“You don’t all of the sudden come up with something in July or August and say, ‘Okay we’re good to go’ and turn ’em loose!”

Ok, as a defense mechanism, I have picked up my sword and joined the Fuck You Kirk You Aren’t A Doctor crowd on Twitter.

https://twitter.com/_ryanharks/status/1243547235696226305?s=20

When I’m aligning myself with Darren Rovell, things may have gotten to a point of no return.

[h/t TMZ]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.
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