This Electric Jacksonville Jaguars Wrestling Promo Is The Only Proof I Need That The Jags Will Win The Super Bowl Next Year

Any filmmaking currently in production should just pack up and postpone filming until next year, because Mayor Calais and Malik the Freak’s wrestling promo just won all the Golden Globes and Oscars and Emmys and any celebrity self-congratulatory award I missed. Yesterday, the Jags were +2200 to win Super Bowl 53 in Atlanta, but after this hype video I’m throwing not only the family farm on them, but my mint condition samurai sword signed by none other than American Idol’s Randy Jackson.

P.S. I don’t know what Elks club they pulled this dude out of, but he was born to be a WWE promo interview guy. They say half of good filmmaking is good casting, the other half is a Goodwill suit and a sparse mustache that you’re legally obligated to tell your neighbors about.

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[h/t Jimma James]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.