Firstly, I’d like to apologize to LaVar Ball for all the hate I threw his way for starting a league that aspires to rival the NCAA. I ripped on the plethora of empty seats during the Junior Basketball Association’s opening game two months back, called out the JBA coach for shoving his own player and calling him a ‘bitch’ during the timeout, and skewered LiAngelo and LaMelo for shooting a billion times in a game.
But I gotta give credit where credit’s due: LaVar is giving athletes who aren’t skilled enough for the NBA a chance to play ball professionally. JBA players receive $3,000 per month in salary and 60 percent of the proceeds from their jerseys, which sell for $80 apiece–a helluva lot more appetizing than being an office rat.
The JBA Championship took place last night at Citizens Business Bank Arena in Ontario, California and the Ball brothers led Los Angeles to a 132-121 victory over Seattle–with LiAngelo netting 58 points, 11 rebounds, and six assists and LaMelo adding 34 points, 15 rebounds and nine assists (and 11 turnovers, yikes).
As a prize for winning the championship, each player on the Los Angeles Ballers was gifted a 2018 Cadillac sedan–which sell for nearly $50,000.
At halftime of the JBA Championship, LaVar announced that he will take the best 10 players in the league and go worldwide to compete overseas.
I’ll quit my job today and ride the bench on one of these squads. Driving a Caddy to work is certainly better than taking the subway.