These FCC Complaints About The Olympics (Involving Floppy Genitals) Are Straight Out Of ‘The Onion’ But Somehow Real

It’s been a hot minute since the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio wrapped up and other than constant chatter about Ryan Lochte becoming a national disgrace we’ve really moved on from the Games. Thankfully not everybody has moved on because Christ Plante (@plante) over at The Verge tracked down the best FCC complaints from NBC viewers, and they’re amazing.

I guess the good people of America weren’t quite ready to see flip-flopping genitals bouncing all across their TV screens when they tuned into Track & Field this Summer. And here I thought the worst thing about NBC’s coverage was the fact that they completely fucking ruined the games by spoiling every primetime event and forcing viewers to deal with a tape delay after results had already been spread worldwide….I was wrong, it was apparently the floppy dingdongs that were the worst.

via The Verge:

In today’s world and what’s considered entertainment it’s very tough to enjoy wholesome programing as a family, from the heavily rotated sexual content on every program to overplayed ED commercials it’s tough to enjoy a program as a family without being uncomfortable. I thought the Olympic try outs last night would provide us the opportunity as a family to enjoy something together. The track and field events are nothing short of minor pornography and should be rated R to NC17 clothing that is to tight exposing male genitals is NOT what I had in mind when sitting with my family last night. Something needs to be done. Less Camera time and Slow Motion Of These Runners flip Flopping their way accross [sic] the finish line. These athletes should be required to wear an ahleletic [sic] supporter or precautions should be put in place by the broadcasting network to create a more comfortable family friendly program

NBC’s coverage of the Olympic opening ceremony displayed numerous examples of people’s buttocks for the viewing pleasure on my children 9 and 5. This seems highly inappropriate for a recorded program meant to be watched by a general audience.

I must admit I wish I’d had seen this coverage but it somehow slipped past my TV set:

Last night 08/06/16 NBC Olympic coverage included video of naked women which was inappropriate for a the wider audience.

I’m guessing that FCC complaint wasn’t actually anything close to naked chicks but was instead referring to something along these lines:

Amazingly, there were a shit ton of cord-cutting non-cable subscribers filing complaints with the FCC about being unable to watch The Olympics. All of these people seemed to be pissed off that they couldn’t watch The Rio Olympics even though they weren’t actually paying for the privilege to watch, and those complaints are equally as hilarious as the floppy genital ones above, you can read all of those HERE on The Verge.