After Team USA’s victory over the Internationals at Quail Hollow in the Presidents Cup, Kevin Kisner, who contributed only a half a point for America, more than made up for it with some excellent quotes.
“My experience can ultimately win in this scenario. There is nothing that any of these can do that can hang with me tonight, I promise you,” the 38-year-old said about how the team’s celebration was going to go down following the big win.
It's gonna be a looong night 🇺🇸🍾 pic.twitter.com/ZClNqWz1Fl
— Kevin Kisner (@K_Kisner) September 25, 2022
“I have never seen a better display of golfers and a worse display of partiers, and I am the best partier on this board. Amen. That’s why they picked me. I got half a point, but I brought the fun.”
— Presidents Cup (@PresidentsCup) September 26, 2022
Based on tweets the next day by Max Homa and Justin Thomas, it sounds like Kisner wasn’t wrong.
— Justin Thomas (@JustinThomas34) September 26, 2022
So, if golfers, according to Kevin Kisner, are terrible at partying, which sport’s athletes actually do know how to bring it?
Paige Spiranac attempted to answer that question.
“I’m going to disagree with Kisner here,” Spiranac began. “I’m going to give golf a 7.6. I’d like to see any athlete try to outdrink John Daly. It would not end well for them.
“And fun fact, Xander Schauffele went to the same college and he had the party house and your girl got quite girl-wasted maybe once or twice.”
— Presidents Cup (@PresidentsCup) September 25, 2022
“Next up we have basketball,” Paige continued. “I’m giving them a 3.2. They’re like reformed party girls. They used to get after it, now they just like a nice glass of wine.
“And we’re on to baseball. I’m giving them an 8.2. I have never seen someone throw back beers like I have some of these baseball players. It is quite impressive. And back in college, they had the best jungle juice around. So I had to bump ’em up a couple points.”
Max Scherzer doesn’t need a shirt 😂 pic.twitter.com/5Vj9DYKVus
— B/R Walk-Off (@BRWalkoff) October 7, 2021
“Next up is football,” Spiranac continued. “They’re not quite professional partiers, but they like to have fun so they get a 9.
“Hockey players are just built different,” she said in closing. “Hockey gets a 10 because these guys are absolutely insane. They will go into a game, get their two front teeth knocked out and then get completely sh-t-faced and do it all over again the next day and the next day and the next day. They’re in a league of their own.”
Hockey players are built different pic.twitter.com/HsyltYWrP4
— Paige Spiranac (@PaigeSpiranac) September 27, 2022
There were a few disagreements in the comments, but really, it’s hard to argue with her hockey player take.
What about Rugby players? It's a bit like American football but they don't were pads. They can sink some serious beers💪🍻🍻😜— Stuart Gray (@Bighenbroon) September 28, 2022
He may have a point there.