Pedro Martinez Claims His ‘Alien’ Fingers Were The Key To Hall Of Fame Career And The Photos Are Bewildering


If you’re wondering how to become one of the most dominant pitchers in baseball history, all you need is a mean jheri curl and bones made of latex rubber.

All joking aside, it will be interesting to see if the Hall of Fame rescinds three-time Cy Young winner Pedro Martinez’s induction after he came clean about being A GODDAMN EXTRATERRESTRIAL.


I haven’t seen fingers bend back that far since Viola Davis won Best Supporting Actress for her role in Fences.

Curt Schilling can’t get into the Hall just because he doesn’t think people who deserve O blood type should be able to vote or some shit and Pedro was inducted on his very first year of eligibility despite his phalanges resembling Marilyn Manson’s torso, an obvious competitive advantage.

Billie Weiss/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images

[Related: Reflecting On The 10-Year Anniversary Of My Arrest And Lifetime Ban From Fenway Park]

Matthew J. Lee/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

BroBible’s EIC Cass Anderson has a similar (dis)ability. He showed me this my first week at BroBible and if I had seen it prior to accepting the job, I would still be rotting away at my finance gig. Which, after revisiting this horror, may have been for the best.


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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.