Ray Lewis Just Gave The Most Irrational Reason Ever To Why He Couldn’t Have Committed Murder Back In 2000

There is no shortage of athletes who constantly praise God for their opportunities and successes in post-game interviews. I’m a pessimistic asshole who is in the mindset that God doesn’t give a shit about your stupid little game or why girls refuse to return my texts. I know this to be fact. Especially the second part. I prayed. God never answered. Thanks, bro.

But there is one athlete whose ‘praise be to God’ schtick doesn’t strike me as theater, and that’s Ray Lewis.

And this is solely due to the fact that he needed a divine miracle to avoid a life sentence after two men were stabbed to death after a fight broke out during a post-game Super Bowl XXXIV party. Murder charges against Lewis were dismissed after he testified against his friends, indicating that they had bought knives at a Sports Authority the week before. Lewis was let off with just 12 months probation after pleading guilty to obstruction of justice. The white suit he was wearing, then took off, was never found by police.

In Lewis’ new book titled I Feel Like Going On: Life, Game, and Glory, he details why there was no way he could have committed those murders back in 2000. His reasoning–he was dressed too fresh.

“Remember, I was dressed out, had my jewelry on, my fine mink coat. I wasn’t about to start mixing it up looking like that. That’s the general rule of thumb when you’re doing the town and looking good. The nicer you’re dressed, the less inclined you are to get in a fight—that is, if you’re inclined in that way to begin with.

Dude dresses like that, he’s not looking for a fight. How I was dressed, it made no sense with what went down, those shots being fired, all of that. Forget what kind of statement my clothes might have made. Forget that I might have been a little loud, over the top. Point is, when you’re dressed like that, you’re off to the sidelines, and here were these gangbangers stepping out to us from the shadows, looking to make trouble—but it was trouble we drove right past.”

I wouldn’t commit murder because of how I was raised. Maybe general human decency. A shred of compassion. When you skip over all that and basically say you didn’t want to stain your mink coat, excuse me for covering my nose from the smell of bullshit.

It’s scary to think that if Ray Lewis had been wearing jeans and a plain white t-shirt, he could be behind bars right now. Crazy.

[h/t Complex]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.