Robert Griffin III Is Posting Kissy Selfies With His Girlfriend In Bora Bora And You Can’t Even Get A Swipe Right, Bruh

rgiii

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Over the past several months, RGIII and his girlfriend Grete Sadeiko have let everyone with a social media account know that they are very much in love. I’ve made the mistake of reporting on their love in a very derogatory, incendiary way, as if Robert is only allowed to love if he produces 2012 numbers on the field. A tough ask for someone with two paper mache knees. Here is a screenshot of an example of my regrettable content.

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So what if RGIII wants to take the $100 million he earned before he was 26 to fund his loving relationship, Matt, you fucking dick? Isn’t young, rich and in love a good deal for anyone? Maybe some people don’t want to be so concussed before their 30th birthday that they’re eating through a tube or blowing up in a fit of rage on a Starbucks barista. And for what? A few more years to go winless with the Cleveland Browns? In the city of Cleveland! So I’d like to take this opportunity to personally apologize to Robert and his *schnookems* Grete. With that said, let’s all enjoy the i

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPT6Z5EltDx/?taken-by=rgiii

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPO4hvFAd_d/?taken-by=gretesadeiko&hl=en

See, that wasn’t so bad. Oh just one more…

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Ok.

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Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.