We are a society must hold ourselves accountable for upholding virtuous values and stomping out unhealthy, deplorable ones. Us sleeping on this civic duty is why Paul Blart: Mall Cop got a sequel. That alone may be the biggest skidmark on American society since the mushroom haircut.
We were recently introduced to an idea that should be deleted from our collection national conscience, by way of NFL infant superstar Patrick Mahomes. A recent profile piece written by ESPN’s Seth Wickersham outed the 23-year-old’s unhealthy obsession with ketchup.
“He spent most of his life putting ketchup on everything. He would get bottles of it for his birthday. But now that everyone is watching every move he makes, he is sheepish about ordering ketchup. At a restaurant recently, his mom, Randi, recognized an unfilled desire as he dove into a steak. “Just ask for it,” Randi said. “I know you want it.” Patrick wouldn’t. So she asked for the ketchup and slipped it to him.”
Mahomes’ lifelong infatuation has spawned a toxic trend that is infecting the internet. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the #PatMahomesChallenge.
Hold up, can you think of anything more repulsive than ketchup on watermelon. Somebody call child protective services on these parents.
Aliens are going to have a field day with us when the descend upon earth.
[h/t For The Win]