The Heartbreaking Tale Of A Tinder Date Ruined Because Of LeBron’s Dick

Tinder dates are generally a tough nut to crack because of various factors such as catfishing, shyness, having nothing in common and of course LeBron’s dick. That’s right, LeBron’s junk can completely derail a romantic encounter. But you don’t have to take my word for it.

The fateful day was June 11, 2015, when the Cleveland Cavaliers were taking on the Golden State Warriors in Game 4 of the NBA Finals. That’s when LeBron James accidentally flashed his cock to the world. Apparently not everyone was impressed with King James’ sceptre and some individuals even went so far as to complain to the Federal Communications Commission. This distressed individual had their probably already doomed Tinder date ruined by LeBron’s member:

“LeBron James showed his dick on national television and completely ruined my tinder date. It made us late for laser tag because I had to rewind it a few times to make sure thats exactly what we saw so we missed our bus. He clearly did it on purpose and hes not as good as Michael Jordan.”

Fuck. That’s a tough pill to swallow. This is literally a classic case of how curiosity killed the cat.

But LeBron’s shaft didn’t just destroy a laser tag date, it destroyed the innocence of several children:

“I am shocked and appalled! I don’t want my kids looking at male genitalia on broadcast television. I am ok with seeing female mammary glands, labia, vagina, etc, over broadcast but no more penis, please!”

This complaint to the FCC is obviously from an Englishman:

“The camera had a close up of [LeBron’s] tallywacker. This is the type of stuff I would expect from Game of Thrones, but not from the American Broadcasting Channel. At least I now know that I am bigger than the purportedly ‘biggest’ star in the NBA.”

“Tallywacker,” you Brits are so cheeky.