Is This Dude’s Heinous Redskins Back Tattoo Enough To Make The Franchise Change Mascots?

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Do me a favor: grab a ball point pen and a piece of paper. Head to that one bar with the mechanical bull in it. Tie a blindfold around your head. Eat three Tide Pods. Saddle up on the mechanical bull. Tell the drunk operator to rev that baby up to 10. Now, to the best of your ability, draw the Redskins logo while the DJ plays that obnoxious Hail to the Redskins fight song.

How did it come out? Any less racist than the original? Don’t beat yourselves up if it’s not an exact replica of the Indian. Take comfort in the fact that it likely came out better than the work of a professional paid to create art on the body. Take a look at this flaming dumpster fire:

If I were voted into political office, my first line item would be to outlaw people who get tattoos this disgraceful and tattoo artists who attach their names to heinous works like this one from voting. Can’t have people citizens casting votes with judgement this poor. That will certainly not make America great again.

Moral of the story: Loser franchises deserve loser tattoos. I choose to believe that’s how the world works. Now if you’ll excuse me while I get the Browns mascot tattooed on my lower back.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.