People Are Using Movie Titles To Describe Their Hogs And Responses Are Glorious

 

I’m sure you already have a name for your penis. I call mine Chad because he’s a dick. So I beat the shit out of him like he owes me money. From his trust fund. Fuck Chad. No honestly. Someone. Anyone. Fuck Chad. Please.

But if you could only name your flesh rocket using movie titles, which would best describe your meat popsicle? Redditor Fire-Crotch_McGee (nice) posed that very question and responses poured in like Lindsey Pelas DMs. Check out some of the best below.

GODZILLA

It’s a much bigger deal in Japan than it is here. And also during its last adventure it ended up having less than 10 minutes of action, to the disappointment of a few fans.

HOME ALONE

BIGGER, LONGER, UNCUT

DEEP IMPACT

GONE IN 60 SECONDS

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

FAILURE TO LAUNCH

BATMAN VS SUPERMAN

Such a big buildup, and then it ends up being weird, confusing, awkward and just plain disappointing.

Any to add? Maybe The Big Short you chodey motherfucker?

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.