When single people imagine what their future girlfriends may be like, we typically think idealistically–the personality of Tina Fey with Kate Upton’s boobies and Jen Selter’s ass who laughs at our shitty jokes and always offers to split the bill. Not one of us has met one girl like this and to think that that mythological person will fall in love with our ass-scratching, mouth-breathing selves in real life is fucking lunacy.
That’s why I gotta tip my cap to this realist who took his imaginary Snapchat girlfriend on a date to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens and was forced to deal with an unwelcome roller-coaster of emotions as she revealed her truly batshit crazy side. We all know a guy who has that insufferable girlfriend who acts out during otherwise pleasant occasions and ruins the night. If you don’t know that guy, then it’s you. Your girlfriend is a psycho. Enjoy a miserable life.
Eh. Not bad. Kind of Plain Jane. I would have added some C cups, if ya know, I was constructing an imaginary girlfriend.
This is the best news you could have heard. You’re off the hook for life!
Said no one ever.
Putting the hand in the frosty is a savage more and should be punishable by death.
What kind if person has the self-restraint to watch only three episodes? That’s like stopping at three beers. Totally unrealistic.
Jar Jar looks like Fetty Wat. Completely unrelated, but he does.
Ugh gross. Dude looks like a ‘Chad.’ Worst case scenario.
Ahh go fuck yaself.
ALPHA MALE WINS AGAIN.
This is the second thing Plain Jane has done on this date that is punishable by death. It’s been 36 minutes.
The movie hasn’t even started, Jane. They are pointing out the Emergency exits.
Not sweaty at all. Totally comfortable….
Of course she didn’t.
#perspective.
Imaginary tears still feel so real.
Chad’s going to fuck her while checking the NASDAQ on his Blackberry bro. At least you didn’t fund the entire night. Oh wait. You set ’em up, Chad knocks ’em down.
You should probably get some seat covers. Those things may be the reason you’re going home alone.