It’s not every day that you see a physically disabled college student who uses handicap parking because they need it, but it does happen – such was the case with Redditor ifightwalruses. Poor guy suffers from chronic nerve pain that only gets worse with extended physical activity, so parking in a far-off campus parking lot is generally a no-go for him.
That is…until some bitch of a professor stole his spot.
Not willing to take the insult laying down, ifightwalruses hatched a revenge plot that left bitch professor biking to class for the rest of the semester:
I’m a student at a local community college because the Gen Ed classes are much cheaper. I had a heart transplant when i was younger but it was too late and now i suffer from chronic nerve pain that only gets worse the more active I am. so I have a handicap parking pass. one thing to note is that at this college with 5000+ students there’s roughly 20-30 handicap spaces. on an average day there’s more unused faculty spaces than handicap spaces total.
fast forward to my third semester. i had gotten into the habit of arriving 1 1/2 to 2 hours early to make sure i got a handicap spot because the next closest spaces are about 1200 feet away and you had to climb a hill to get to the main building. I’d kill time by doing homework with my friends or playing D&D. first day of the semester i park and as I’m getting my laptop out of my car i notice that another car had pulled up behind mine. the driver(older woman hereby refered to as EB, short for English bitch) asked if i was parking there, i of course answered “yes, I have a placard?” she scoffs and says out loud “who’s is it? your grandmothers?” and drives away. at the time I didn’t think too much of it. I’m young and don’t have a wooden leg or anything so it’s happened before.
the next day i arrive like i always do and notice that all the handicap spots are full and that the same car from yesterday is parked there. this time i recognize the woman in it. She’s an English professor. one of my friends has her for 18th century literature. i find this odd because the faculty spots are really close by. EB sees me and smirks. whatever i suck it up and park. that day me and my friends are playing D&D in a room we found. EB walks by and sees me and my friends and tells us that we’re not allowed to be there and we need to leave “this second!” now I’m really pissed. she’s only doing this to be a bitch. we weren’t hurting anyone and her class next door doesn’t even start for almost an hour. but she still sits in that room and reads a novel. she does the same thing every chance she gets for weeks. so I’ve been thinking of a way to solve this problem for most of the semester. talking to the english department head(my literature of science fiction teacher) i find out that she doesn’t even have a placard. the one she hung from her mirror is her grown sons. now i know what to do.
Here’s what i did, reserved the room she had her class in until 5 minutes before her class for “dungeons and dragons club” with a sign and everything. then i alerted campus police that several people were using other people handicap tags. for those unaware you get paperwork when you get one validating that it’s yours, in my state using one that’s not yours is a towable offence and a automatic fine. so campus police start asking for peoples paperwork. that day starts like most others that semester, get there she’s in a handicap spot. i go to play dungeons and dragons. but when she comes to kick us out of “her room” but she can’t because I’ve reserved it. after i inform her of this she storms off mumbling about seeing the dean. she comes back for her class but by that time I’m on my way out. after my class i go out to the lot and notice that her car is missing.
next day i arrive and EBs car isn’t in one of the spots. it was towed. best feeling of my life that day. my friend tells me later that she arrived to class 10 minutes late that day and covered in sweat. she biked there for the rest of the semester. never had a problem with her for the rest of that semester.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you go about letting someone dick themselves over with minimal effort on your part. Golf claps all around.