Answering The Call (Her Daddy) Subreddit: Am I Overreacting To My BF Talking About Another Girl?

Welcome back to answering the call, baby. Where I sift through the Call Her Daddy subreddit and select a seeking-advice submission to answer. Boy, do we have a juicy one for you today. Usually it takes me a while to find a submission worth analyzing, but this one exploded off the forum. Roll up your sleeves because somebody is about to get fired!

To preface, I understand guy talk and don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing for guys to talk about hot girls, but this goes deeper than that…also, I work in HR and see people get fired for offenses far more innocent than this.

To start, my bf is 30 and a mid-level manager. He and I live together and have been dating for almost a year. I got suspicious about one of his coworkers, who is 21, and got on his phone and searched her name. They work at different locations from each other now, but they worked together for a long time before this. I didn’t find any messages to her, didn’t even look like they had each other’s phone #s, but I found messages between him and another manager talking about this girl. My bf was calling her “the sexiest person he’s ever met in person” and “a goddess” (which is his main nickname for me…it hurt to see him call another girl this). He was also talking to his coworker about what he would do to fuck her. His coworker texted him and said that she was driving behind him, and my bf said “pics or it didn’t happen” and his coworker sent him several pictures and videos of this girl driving behind him, which prompted my bf to continue talking about how hot he finds this girl. I get guy talk, but this crossed a line. I got pissed at my bf for this and he just got mad at me for looking through his phone.

So, my rage is stemming from 2 areas: the obvious disrespect for our relationship, and the fact that he is indirectly sexually harassing this girl with another manager. If someone saw these messages, him and his coworker could be fired. I talk to my bf about this kind of stuff all the time and I’ve had to fire people for things like this. It hurts that he would potentially risk his career for some “guy talk.” I haven’t felt the same about him since…am I overreacting? Do I even have the right to be upset?

 

Good lord almighty, give this lady a RAISE. She can’t decide whether she’s more angry over his violation of their relationship or him acting like a toxic male towards a coworker? She’s a damn HR MARINE! DUTY FIRST! THESE COLORS (of the employee behavior handbook?) DON’T RUN!!

Let’s start with this: dump him. Obviously. Am I high? How is this even a question? You can’t discover your boyfriend explaining to a friend what he would do to bang some 21-year-old coworker and sweep that under the rug. There is no grey area on that. Either you accept that he sucks and you make it work because you don’t really care, or you dump him because you deserve a person who isn’t a piece of trash. But the fact that you’re wondering if you have a right to be upset is, well, odd, because it seems so obvious. A redder flag there never was.

Second, what the hell was that where he asked his buddy to play private investigator, TAIL her, and take photos of her pony tail flowing over the headrest. What kind of twisted voyeurism is this?!

“Dude, she’s driving.”

“Prove it.”

Because, you know, nothing gets the blood pumping south faster than observing a pretty lady through the rear windshield of her Mazda.

I’m trying to think of a scenario where a buddy of mine would tell me he saw someone driving, and I would demand that he take pictures of that person. That, in and of itself, is weird. It’s both dangerous and weird. Maybe Bieber? Cristiano Ronaldo? Yeah I guess I would say “I don’t believe you” unless he took a picture. But then when he sends me the picture, I’m not going to say “yep, just as hot as I thought he was. Damn, look at how hot he is… driving that car.”

Either way, this statement nearly took my breath away: “it hurts that he would risk his career for some ‘guy talk.‘”

Can you leave the job behind for ONE SECOND and think about your HEART?! I’m flabbergasted by her fixation on professionalism through all this. He just revealed that he’s fantasizing about cheating on you, and you’re upset that he is jeopardizing his career?!

Boy oh boy. I see big things in her job future, provided she can unload the baggage of her clown of a boyfriend. Whatever HR department she works for isn’t paying her enough.