The Unkillable Ben Affleck Had A Better Weekend Than You

ben affleck and jennifer lopez

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Benjamin. Géza. Affleck-Boldt. Ben Affleck as he’s known professionally. Or, as I like to call him ’round these parts, Slick Benny. Folks, perhaps it’s redundant of me to say, but Slick Benny had a better weekend than us.

Saturday was Jennifer Lopez’s alleged 52nd birthday. I say allegedly because, given her apparent de-aging, she’ either a clone, not of this Earth, or suffering from the Benjamin Button disease. Presented with those three options, especially considering the rampantness of conspiracy theorists these days, I’d definitely prefer Door Number Three: Benny Butts Disorder. But back to the other Benny and Jenny’s 52nd birthday, which Jeremih once wrote a song about.

This guy is simply unkillable, both personally and professionally. Sort of like Tom Hardy’s character in Lawless. He’s the walking embodiment of “minor setback for a major comeback.” Falls off the wagon? Gets back on. Makes a shitty movie? Follows it up with a banger. Breaks up with one Hollywood A-lister? Reunites with another. Loses Ana de Armas? Winds up on a yacht with his thumb halfway up, as the great philosopher Jules Winnfield once put it, J-Lo’s Holiest of Holies for some Vitamin D — that’s a Sun pun right there — lovin’. This dude bounces back more than the late-night text messages A-Rod is probably sending J-Lo from his recently blocked number. He’s turned redemption into an art form. Ben Affleck is unkillable.

Ben’s also got a handful (two puns for the price of one in this article, and on a Monday no less, you’re welcome) of films due out this year, as he’s set to star alongside his buddy Matt Damon in Ridley Scott’s The Last Duel and in the lead role of George Clooney’s next directorial effort, The Tender Bar. Then, in 2022, he’ll star in the romantic thriller Deep Water alongside his ex-flame Ana de Armas, and will put on the cape and cowl for one final time when he plays Batman in The Flash.

RELATED: Internet Reacts To Matt Damon And Ben Affleck’s Absurd Haircuts In Trailer For ‘The Last Duel’, Which They Also Wrote

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Eric Italiano Avatar
Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Contact him