The F-35 Lightning II is widely considered one of the most, if not the most advanced fighter plane in history. All that tech and weaponry doesn’t come cheap, one F-35A fighter plane costs between $89.2 million and $115.5 million. So what better use of this technologically superior aircraft than to draw dicks in the sky.
On Tuesday, six F-35 Joint Strike Fighter pilots simulated a dogfight against one another in Arizona. During the Top Gun-esque training, the planes’ contrails formed a sky penis in the air. The U.S. Air Force says the sky dick was an “accident.”
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Apparently during the exercise, one of the teams pulled back and then circled before re-engaging.
“The contrails were made by the 2-ship as they were beginning the fight with the 4-ship and then told to hold off, causing them to hook to reposition before then beginning the fight again, causing them to hook once more,” said USAF spokeswoman Maj. Rebecca Heyse. Right.
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“56th Fighter Wing senior leadership reviewed the training tapes from the flight and confirmed that F-35s conducting standard fighter training maneuvers,” a spokesperson from Luke AFB said. They added that “no nefarious or inappropriate behavior” had been conducted during the training flight.”
Officials Luke Air Force Base claim the maneuvers created an “accidental sky penis contrail.” I saw Accidental Sky Penis perform at Coachella back in 2011.
Listen, we all have accidents; stub your toe on the bed frame, spill your drink at the bar, forget to pick up your girlfriend from the airport because you were too busy playing Fortnite. But nobody “accidentally” draws a penis in the sky.
Drawing sky penises are a serious issue. Last November, the Marine Corps came down hard on two pilots for drawing air dicks.
I’m not sure drawing sky dicks is what we should be doing with stealth F-35s, especially when the F-35 program costs over $1.5 trillion over its 55-year lifespan, but I understand.