Getty Image / Taylor Hill
Grimes is a Canadian pop singer who was won some Juno Awards (Canada stuff) for her electronic music but stateside she’s probably best known as Elon Musk’s eccentric girlfriend. Elon Musk himself is one of the most ‘out there’ people in Silicon Valley and after reading through a recent interview from Grimes I’ve come to the conclusion that they are absolutely perfect for each other.
As I was scrolling through Twitter last night about to pass out I saw a tweet of screenshots from Grimes’ Instagram account. In these pictures, she was telling Adidas what we ‘training regiment’ is like on a daily basis. At first I was confused because I was thinking ‘isn’t she a singer? What is she training for?’ but as I started reading I realized that this was next-level batshit insanity and there was a solid chance that it was all fake and photoshopped.
Wrong.
I went to Grimes’ Instagram page (real name Claire Elise Boucher) and in her most recent post she copy/pasted her answer from an interview with Adidas and my god this is beyond insane. She claims to spend half an hour a day screaming at a friend (as exercise), she claims to get in her exercise by sword fighting for hours a day.
For my money, the craziest claim she makes is that she no longer sees blue light because of an experimental surgical procedure she underwent after creating some sort of polymer in a lab last Winter with a friend. Totally normal shit, right? Here’s the Instagram post with her completely batshit crazy response down below:
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz9LsAIFaLR/
Here’s what she had to say:
ADIDAS: Tell us about ur training regiment ?
GRIMES: My training is a 360 approach. I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions – past, present, and future.
In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout.I then spend 45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type). I’ve outfitted my studio with the highest grade of red light. It is pretty much 1000 sqf IR Sauna.
Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency.I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression.
I go to bed with a humidifier on.
Under normal circumstances, I’d assume that she was trolling the shit out of her followers here but this is Elon Musk’s girlfriend and they are one of the most eccentric couples in America so I’m forced to assume she’s telling the truth. And that’s disturbing.
Who casually blocks out all blue light after dicking around in a lab with a friend? She’s not a scientist or a doctor, but I guess that doesn’t matter when you have the resources of a multi-billionaire backing you?
Why didn’t she mention ‘recreational shooting’ as an activity?
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt4UDFxgvfq/
Getting your daily exercise from a 1-2 hour sword fighting workout sounds expensive as hell. You probably have to pay for some expert to show up daily because there’s no way there are classes for this (every day). Maybe there are classes once a week or once a month, but not daily. Then you have to buy some ridiculous swords to play with.
And how is winding down from sword fighting with a 30-45 minute inclined hike at 4-4.5mph ‘arguably the most efficient workout’??????? Who on this fucking planet decided that’s the most efficient workout?
I’m still convinced this is all 100% serious but I really, truly hope that she’s trolling.