Natalie Portman Puts Moby On Blast For Claiming They Dated When She Was 20, She Calls Him ‘Creepy’

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Moby, probably: “Yeah, I hooked up with Natalie Portman before she was Natalie Portman. She came into my dressing room after my show in the early 2000s and was TOTALLY trying to show me her V for Vagina and grab hold of my Moby d*ck.”

Applebee’s manager: “Sir, we’ve been closed for 45 minutes.”

Moby recently came out with a memoir titled “Then It Fell Apart,” in which he claims that Natalie Portman flirted with in his dressing room when he was 33 and she was 20. He then alleges that the two started dating and that he “tried to be her boyfriend,” but she ended it after meeting someone else.

This photo dates back to 2001, at the time of the alleged fling.

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In a recent interview with Harper’s Bazaar, Portman not only called bullshit, but also called the 53-year-old singer a creepshow.

“I was surprised to hear that he characterized the very short time that I knew him as dating because my recollection is a much older man being creepy with me when I just had graduated high school,” she told Harper’s Bazaar. “He said I was 20; I definitely wasn’t. I was a teenager. I had just turned 18. There was no fact checking from him or his publisher — it almost feels deliberate.”

“I was a fan and went to one of his shows when I had just graduated. When we met after the show, he said, ‘Let’s be friends.’ He was on tour and I was working, shooting a film, so we only hung out a handful of times before I realized that this was an older man who was interested in me in a way that felt inappropriate.”

I’m not one to brag, but back in 2001, I made out with “Left Eye” from TLC at a meet-and-greet in Omaha, Nebraska. She invited me back to her tour bus, but when I knocked on the door, no one opened. So, I kicked the fucking door down and was arrested soon thereafter. Tour bus life, man, you commoners wouldn’t understand.


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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.