Last year, a group of scientists published a report that suggested human civilization as we know it is on track to implode by the time 2050 rolls around thanks to people who insist on covering their ears and going “LALALALA CAN’T HEAR YOU” every time someone suggests we should do something about that pesky “climate change” thing sooner rather than later.
However, we might not even have to wait for tens of millions of people to become displaced as steadily rising waters threaten to swallow major cities over the course of the next three decades for the planet to get its Lord of the Flies on courtesy of the rapidly spreading coronavirus.
After first being detected in China at the end of 2019, the illness took a look at the world’s attempts to stop it from spreading and had a hearty laugh before proceeding to make its way around the planet, and as things currently stand, around 90,000 people in 75 different countries have been infected by a disease that has killed over 3,000 patients.
The stock market has recovered ever so slightly on Monday after tanking harder last week than the Bengals did during the most recent NFL season, but as things currently stand, it appears things are going to get much worse before they get any better as health officials around the world scramble to prevent a pandemic.
Last week, the CDC did the struggling razor industry a major solid when it released a graphic that suggested anyone with a beard is basically screwed if they wear a mask in an attempt to ward off the bug, which resulted in me receiving an angry email from a registered nurse (who was apparently unaware that I’m married to one) who chided me for having the nerve to make light of the impending doom of society.
However, it appears that may be a moot point, as the Surgeon General urged Americans to stop buying masks over the weekend due to their supposed ineffectiveness against coronavirus (despite implying they were vital when it comes to ensuring healthcare workers don’t catch the illness).
Now, Nigeria has decided to get in on the infographic game, as an assistant to the governor of the state of Lagos recently tweeted out a handy guide on how to lower the risk of infection and identify symptoms—including diarrhea.
Forget what diarrhea looks like? Don’t worry, because they included a picture of a guy taking an explosive dump in order to refresh your memory.
We need more public service announcements like this.