Going a little stir crazy already? Join the club. How else do you explain over 18,000 people voting on the question: Who would win in a street fight: The Muppets or Sesame Street?
Let’s go to the tale of the tape.
Representing The Muppets… (Top 15, ranked from strongest to weakest).
Rizzo the Rat
Pepe the King Prawn
Rowlf the Dog
Kermit the Frog
Statler and Waldorf
The Swedish Chef
The Muppets start out well with Animal, Miss Piggy and Sam Eagle, but it tails off a lot from there. By the time we get to the end of the list, Scooter and Fozzie Bear would be pretty much worthless in a street fight.
The wild card in the bunch has to be Gonzo. There’s no telling what kind of contraptions he would come up with that would surely explode upon attempted use. It just depends on when and where the explosion happens during the fight.
Representing Sesame Street… (Top 15, ranked from strongest to weakest).
Oscar the Grouch
Count von Count
Super Grover (real name: Grover)
The Yip Yips
Slimey the Worm
Bert and Ernie
Again, the quality of fighters here with Sesame Street drops preciptiously once you get past the top five or six. However, at the top you’ve got a guy who literally lives in a garbage can (and likes it that way), a vampire, a 300-pound bird, a giant whatever Snuffleupagus is, a literal monster, and a superhero (albeit not a very good one).
The sleeper on this roster has to be Slimey the Worm. Oscar’s pal could be the stealthy difference in this fight.
Now let’s go to the audience and see who they are picking.
Looks like, in a very close battle, the people believe that Sesame Street would take The Muppets in a street fight.
Here’s a taste of the logic behind some people’s choices…
Sesame Street’s only hope is the Count, calmly approaching the carnage when things look bleakest and saying, “Stand back, children. And, for the love of God, shield your eyes,” before unleashing an unspeakable barrage of unholy dark magic that has not been witnessed in centuries.
— Jared Cardenas (@JarOfCards) March 19, 2020
fighting a dude living in a trash can and a monster who eats anything if he thinks its a cookie?
I am going sesame street.
— Really wanted Healthcare reform. (@RjMoffa) March 19, 2020
Listen, I love The Muppets, but they're a bunch of stage actors. The Sesame Street gang are from the inner city area of New York. I wouldn't want to run into 'em in a dark alley.
— Jett Vee-riosa (@rubydoomsday) March 20, 2020
The Muppets, obviously. Give Animal a couple machetes and tell him the Sesame Street gang is a drum set. pic.twitter.com/gVfphTSfxm
— Erika Laurent (@ballyhoodoo) March 19, 2020
Muppets have S-tier Piggy & Animal. The larger characters can easily take Big Bird, who is cowardly & weak. They also have scientific Intel.
The Muppets are also known for kidnapping celebrity guests by force, showing they can take down the human cast members of Sesame Street. pic.twitter.com/jYoNGwj8ef
— DORMANT DREAD FOR THE DISCARDED DEAD (@SamyulDAVIS) March 19, 2020
Prarie Dawn is a tactical genius. Underestimate her at your peril. pic.twitter.com/vHzDBXJQz9
— SnarkingBoojum (@SBoojum) March 19, 2020
U know for a fact that Big Bird is punting muppets left and right pic.twitter.com/Rtv1CH3gLJ
— ✨🌟 KRISTAL 🌟✨ (@heathgirl1785) March 19, 2020
Don't count out Sesame Street when some of the forgotten beasts come out #barkley pic.twitter.com/v5TEf5QOKD
— Dave Robinson (@franklloydwrite) March 19, 2020
Sorry to say, but the Fraggles are gona sweep in turn theae shenanigans upside down! pic.twitter.com/882yPT3qrw
— Rob #Bridges Whisenhunt (@WhisenhuntRob) March 19, 2020
This is what happens when you lock everyone inside their homes for an extended period of time. God help us all if we have to do this for several more weeks.