The whole ‘transgender bathroom’ drama is really beginning to heat up. Let’s put it this way: When Curt Schilling weighs in, things are about to get to turned up 11 real quick. Thankfully, Funny Or Die weighed in on the whole controversy and offered up a solution.
Welp, there it is. The definitive answer we all need. How do we keep our bathrooms safe? Have a cop in there to feel up your gens. Hey, if that what it takes, I’m in. I don’t want girls in my bathroom. Men’s rooms are safe spaces where we can excuse ourselves during a date to fart or sneak in halfway through a night of drinking and get in a few sips of water without looking like a little bitch. Allow girls in there and three horrible things could potentially happen. A) Men will be having accidents in their pants since they couldn’t fart and vomiting at bars becuase they avoided getting water B) Men will just start farting everywhere they go because nowhere is safe anymore and chasing every beer they drink with a glass of water like a highschool girl or C) Men will live their lives as a worrying combination of both A and B. Call me crazy, but I don’t want to live in a world where fresh air is replaced by farts.