The Cast Of ‘Silicon Valley’ Guessing What Real Startups Do Based On The Names Alone Is Laugh Out Loud Funny

I’ve come to the conclusion that all you have to do to become rich in Silicon Valley is just start an app with a really cryptic one to two syllable name (preferably purposely misspelled) and provide a service that is generally useless or will be irrelevant in 3 years. And obviously you have to have a foosball table in your office and express daily how you maintain a ‘work hard play hard’ mentality in your hip, urban office.

Like if I had to motivation to start an app right now I’d probably name it Mattathon (because my name’s Matt and I’m a huge douchenozzle). Our app would jive with iPhone and Android operating systems and we’d send one of our valued photographers to take pictures of you running marathons and posting them to your social media using relevant hashtags and clever captions so you can brag to your friends without the hassle of exerting energy after your big race. I’m currently accepting angel investors. I accept money, alcohol and weed. Hit me up.

We’d also capture your Crossfit fails. Mattathon is a gift and a curse.


[h/t Uproxx]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.