Please Welcome Chrissy Teigen, BroBible’s New Ask a Babe Guest Columnist
Editor’s Note: We’re thrilled to announce that Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model and longtime BroBible favorite Chrissy Teigen has joined the team as a guest advice columnist for our “Ask a Babe” column. Each week, our resident hottie, That’s What She Said, we’ll select one or two questions from you, the Bros, for Chrissy to answer. You can ask her about dating, sex, or anything else on your mind. TWSS will answer more of your burning questions in her own column each week. You can submit all your questions to our lady know-it-alls here. On tap for Chrissy this week: some summer lovin’–related dilemmas.
A Bro Asks…
I’ll be heading out to my share house most weekends this summer, and I’m in a co-ed house. We usually head to the beach as a group, but I’m not interested in any of the girls in the house. Does it hurt my chances to be hanging on the beach with my housemates if I want to meet other girls out there? What are the best ways to get a cute girl’s attention on the beach? And is sex on the beach all that it’s cracked up to be in the movies?
Oooh, I see your dilemma. You’re thinking that if you have girls at the beach, some other babe (is that what guys call girls these days? I haven’t been in the game for a long time) is going to think you are specifically connected to one of them, thus ruining your macking (see? I’m terrible). Buttttt, going out with the group seems like a great idea… untilll you find that one girl and she’s suddenly up against extreme scrutiny by every other girl in the house. A catty bunch, aren’t we? Protective of man-friends we don’t even personally like “in that way.”
I’d say go out with the group. Girls will be more game to talk to you if you don’t look like some solo, loser pervo on the beach. Unless they like solo, loser pervos — then I’ve just screwed you over completely. Beach prowling is hard because it’s so obvious that you’re doing just that. I picture a guy tossing and catching his own volleyball, dragging his sandals (don’t get me started) through the sand, and saying, “Heyyy laaaaaadies” — alone. In the normal world, this type of action would show confidence, but something about the beach just makes it creepy. I’m gonna go with the lack-of-clothing excuse. Anyhow, when you do find a girl you could be potentially interested in, make sure to introduce her to everyone in the group… and make sure all her friends feel welcome too, or they’ll be dragging her away no matter how good of a time she’s having.
To simplify: Go with the group. In this case, it is best to bring sand to literal beach.
And excuse me! Why would you assume I’m just some beach sexier? Does working in an office mean you have sex in your office? Don’t answer that. Anyhow, swimsuit modeling allows for enough sand in my lady bits as it is.
A Bro Asks…
I just started hooking up with a girl at the end of the semester at college. Now we’re both off for the summer, and in different parts of the country. I think she thinks we’re going to be exclusive for the summer, but there’s no chance that’s happening, even though I’ll want to keep her in the line up for the fall. Should I just have fun and hook up with other girls and assume she’s doing the same, or should I preemptively warn her of how it’s going to be?
Oh, sir. Please don’t be the jerk who put a girl “on hold” while he boinked around and then came back expecting to sleep with said girl while fully knowing she had feelings for him. Please.
Listen. I’m all for fun college times. Really. But please, as a girl, I have to ask that you just be honest with her. Why just assume she’ll be hooking up with other guys? I am always a bit overly communicative when it comes to things like this but it’s always good to just… have a conversation about it. Something like, “Hey, I’m gonna go off this summer and I don’t want to hurt your feelings if I meet somebody or something happens…” Even something as broad as that will put it in her head that hey, you’re going off and doing your own thing, so she can choose to do that too, or at least know that’s what you’ll be up to. Because believe me, you probably aren’t as sneaky as you think. You leave for the summer, you sleep with chicks, she finds out, you come back, she hates you, she tells every girl she knows that you’re a jerk, blah blah blah you’re screwed. Don’t lie about exclusivity just to make her feel better.
Of course it would be awesome if you both were okay with having your fall “relationship/non-relationship” thing, then could just go off, have fun, and come right back to normal, fall life. That would pretty much be the perfect-world situation — but us girls, we are emotional beings. Of course there are some that really, truly, wouldn’t care if you went off and “hung out” with other girls, and would be more than okay with continuing the relationship like nothing happened. But, yeah, I have no f*cking idea where those chicks are and apparently, neither do you. I assume we’d need special goggles to find this rare species.
Long story short, be honest. Worst case scenario, she doesn’t approve of your summer ways and it’s done for the fall. But you, honest guy, will certainly find another.