Guy walks into a store with $10K in a sock and that’s the most normal part of this story


This is not the start of a bad joke. This is a true story.

It’s a story so crazy I couldn’t possible explain it on my own. Here’s the tale from

The scam began earlier this month when a man identifying himself as “Derrick” entered the Martinez Meat Market on Southwest Boulevard. Police describe the suspect as dark skinned, approximately 38 years old and wearing a suit.

According to reports, Derrick claimed to be visiting from Africa and asked owner Socorro Torres if she was interested in selling her business. Derrick told Torres that he received a large sum of money after his father died in Africa and produced a sock from his waistband to show the business owner.

Inside the sock was $10,000, according to reports.

Alright, so, email scams are now happening in real life since no one falls for email scams anymore. But will this work? [taps finger to chin] Will this work?

“Torres stated she agreed to sell the business at which time Derrick provided her with a phone number and informed her that he would be in touch,” the police report states.The business owner quickly began to receive phone calls from men with “African accents,” police said, claiming to be brothers of Derrick and asking if he bought the business yet.

“She refused to speak with them about it because they had nothing to do with the purchase,” the police report stated. “Derrick then contacted her and advised her not to provide them with any information.” During the phone call, Derrick also advised Torres not to contact the police because he could be arrested for the large sum on money, deported back to Africa and “executed” upon his return.

If I go back to Africa I will die. Speaking of dying, I’m dying to own this little store! Have you considered my offer of all the money in my sock?

About a week ago, police said, a black man with an African accent and whiskers tattooed onto his face entered the business. The man identified himself as Derrick’s brother and questioned her about the purchase, although he advised her that the purchase has not been made yet.

WAIT! STOP! Whisker tattoos? NEVER trust a man with whisker tattoos. That’s common knowledge.

Derrick came back to Martinez Meat Market on July 17, police said, while in possession of the sock that previously contained $10,000. The sock was for a down payment on the business, Derrick told Torres, and he would bring the rest of the money the next day.

“After handing Torres the sock, he requested all the money in the cash register since the business was now his,” the police report stated. “Torres stated she handed the money from the cash register over to Derrick at which time Derrick left.” After he left, Torres opened up the sock that purportedly contained the $10,000 down payment. However, the sock no longer contained any money.

It’s the oldest trick in the book! The sock full of money scam. Never let a man leave your store without counting the money in the sock. That’s common knowledge.

Instead, the sock “was filled with wet construction paper cut in the shape of money,” according to reports.

And that, my friends, was the greatest trick David Blaine has ever pulled.